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Feb. 27th, 2007 02:10 pmDear New Yorkers,
Young miss, I know that the subway is often mistaken for your living room, but I'm pretty sure that it's not. Ok, really sure. I know it seems like fun to sit far away from your friends and scream at them the entire time, but in reality it's only fun for you. Even your friend seems embarrassed. Ooh, and hey, standing on the seat and resting your chin on the bar that the commuting guy is trying to hold on to because the train is crowded is a stunning display of manners. Just sayin'.
Hipster boy, it seems that you have mistaken me for something cuddly. I'm not cuddly. I know you're in that horrible middle seat but you don't realllly need to have your entire side pressed against my side. However, it is rush hour, there's nowhere for me to go, and you smell really nice, so no flurry of elbows for you. This time!
DVD lady, no one really wants your bootleg DVDs. I blame Bittorrent. Also, I think Harry Potter involves two T's. Might wanna do something about that.
Guy with the flyers, today is not going to be the day I take a flyer. Just to let you know, it won't be tomorrow either. Or the day after that. I really don't have any desire to purchase discount men's clothing for any reason, and if I did it probably wouldn't be in the area of Manhattan we affectionately call the Counterfeit District. Same goes for you, discount perfume flyer guy. Who knows what that stuff really is.
Large group of tourists walking down the sidewalk - You see, if I'm walking down the street and your group decides that you need the entire sidewalk, the appropriate action is to move a little tiny bit and let me through, not to slam into me as hard as you possibly can, knocking me into the side of a building and hurting my arm. Also, the appropriate response is not to direct your entire tour group to laugh at The American because you hurt her and that's apparently really funny. If you can't navigate a sidewalk without remembering the basic laws of matter, you need a remedial lesson in how to do so.
Love,
Aniline
---
Dear residents of Greece,
Please take back the above mentioned tour group and never let them leave your country again.
Love,
Aniline
Young miss, I know that the subway is often mistaken for your living room, but I'm pretty sure that it's not. Ok, really sure. I know it seems like fun to sit far away from your friends and scream at them the entire time, but in reality it's only fun for you. Even your friend seems embarrassed. Ooh, and hey, standing on the seat and resting your chin on the bar that the commuting guy is trying to hold on to because the train is crowded is a stunning display of manners. Just sayin'.
Hipster boy, it seems that you have mistaken me for something cuddly. I'm not cuddly. I know you're in that horrible middle seat but you don't realllly need to have your entire side pressed against my side. However, it is rush hour, there's nowhere for me to go, and you smell really nice, so no flurry of elbows for you. This time!
DVD lady, no one really wants your bootleg DVDs. I blame Bittorrent. Also, I think Harry Potter involves two T's. Might wanna do something about that.
Guy with the flyers, today is not going to be the day I take a flyer. Just to let you know, it won't be tomorrow either. Or the day after that. I really don't have any desire to purchase discount men's clothing for any reason, and if I did it probably wouldn't be in the area of Manhattan we affectionately call the Counterfeit District. Same goes for you, discount perfume flyer guy. Who knows what that stuff really is.
Large group of tourists walking down the sidewalk - You see, if I'm walking down the street and your group decides that you need the entire sidewalk, the appropriate action is to move a little tiny bit and let me through, not to slam into me as hard as you possibly can, knocking me into the side of a building and hurting my arm. Also, the appropriate response is not to direct your entire tour group to laugh at The American because you hurt her and that's apparently really funny. If you can't navigate a sidewalk without remembering the basic laws of matter, you need a remedial lesson in how to do so.
Love,
Aniline
---
Dear residents of Greece,
Please take back the above mentioned tour group and never let them leave your country again.
Love,
Aniline
